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The Slam-bang, Slick-a-dee Smart alec’s Dictionary of Slang, brought to you by The Cloud, courtesy of Chambers presents…

Some brand new additions to the dictionary. All shiny and bright, yet to be tarnished in vulgar puns and muddied with cheap jokes. I’ll put that to rights as soon as possible of course. –  laughs These are all quite genuine. If you doubt esme (doubters get outers! *awful but it is early in the day so bear with)

  1. snailly n. [nail varnish] [2000s] (UK drugs) nail varnish, in the context of sniffing its fumes. – (Just say no kids, glue is far more effective)

2. Fecky the Ninth n. [FECK v.] [2000s] (Irish) an utter fool. – Hahahahaha. I actually think that’s a great name for a character (notes this down so she can lose the piece of paper and forget about it until she sees someone else using it and has to kill them).

  1. judder bars n. [2000s] (N.Z.) haemorrhoids. – (Judder and shudder eh?)
  2. whatever bakes one’s biscuit phr. [2000s] (US) whatever makes one happy, satisfied. – (I say chaps! Whatever pans one’s cake! Whatever ices one’s bun! Whatever Jam(e?)s one’s tart! Whatever Garis one’s Baldi! the Cloud tapes esme’s mouth shut until she promises to stop)

5. howleybags n. [howling bags under BAGS n.] [2000s] (N.Z.) nappies or knickerbockers.- (This. Is. Fantastic. shows her bloomers whilst singing ‘Knees up Mother Brown)

  1. Agatha n. [2000s] (S.Afr. gay) a gossip – (She’s just a big Agatha! No way ya dirty Christie!)
  • Croydon facelift n. [2000s] a UK female hairstyle which pulls the hair back tightly from the face, supposedly giving the effect of a facelift; stereotyped as that of working-class young women. – (This one has been around for a while as you can see and looks like this) –
Thank you Mel C.

Thank you Mel C.

8. Queen Mum n. [rhy. sl. = BUM n.] [2000s] the buttocks.- (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

I shall leave it there as the ‘Queen Mum’ has me in fits. I hope you enjoyed this small, but quality-ridden distraction today.  – bows showing her knickerbocker-clad Queen Mum to the audience.

 

(Pardon the numbering fiasco, (thank you H for the alert nods) WP always does this to esme’s posts because they envy her, her magnificent bloomers.)