Taken from the well-loved musical . . . 

The Sound of Music Esme

Cartwheels, ephemera and puns about spanking,
A punch in the jaw and an eager chap yanking,
Awards for the best beard, a redhead with wings,
These are a few of the gifts Esme brings.

Happenstance odysseys and shady soul shifters,*
Tongue-tips on titters and Mr Zane Griftor,
A head in a jar, the entwining of limbs,
These are a few of the gifts Esme brings.

When the squid growls,
When the muse howls,
When you’re feeling sad,
Just come to the Cloud and eat large sticky buns
And soon you will be . . . quite mad.

Dicey dystopias, revenge-laden lizards,
Suicidal scarecrows and quite pissed-off wizards,
Two hearts held together with tins and some string,
These are a few of the gifts Esme brings.

A Mothman takes flight and two thighs clasp a pendulum,
Some deadly fellatio and many addendums,
An old chap stands proud, and a succubus grins,
These are a few of the gifts esme brings.

A book (it’s not for you), and stalker’s strange pleasures,
Some wild wonky wordplay, a casket of treasures,
The end of a monster – The Milky Way pings,
These are a few of the gifts Esme brings.

When the ink dries,
When the dove cries,
When you’re feeling sad,
Just come to the Cloud and eat large sticky buns
And soon you will be . . . quite mad.

The Minister for Squeaks and Napoleon’s rabbits,
A wise Cloud once said, and an Empress’s odd habits,
Slambanging-clangers and blindfolded flings,
These are a few of the gifts Esme brings.

Dejected fired muses that double as floosies,
Heathcliffe and Count Orlock their charisma it oozes,
A vegan verbose with Cloud atlas achings,
These are a few of the gifts esme brings.

When the flame starts,
When the moon farts,
When you’re feeling sad,
Just come to the Cloud and eat large sticky buns
And soon you will be . . . quite mad.

 

 

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*good luck shaying that shwiftly shir/mishes.

ps- if you don’t click through all the links you clearly don’t love esme enough.

 – (wags a finger then pegs it laughing)