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For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome., Primordial Pilgrimage, Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time, Spoilers
The end is nigh,
And as I die, it closes in.
A soft velvet paralysis,
Like a pair of glacial gloves,
Gently holding my face,
Invading my being,
Stuffing my ears and mouth with cotton wool.
Deftly saturating my body.
A transcendental taxidermist.
It is not sharp, death,
But muted and distorted.
A telescopic creature,
Padding and pulsing its way towards me.
Broadcasting the muffled echo of a life lived,
A bleached carbon-copy of one existence,
Reflected at me through bright, thick, lenses.
Humming and drumming.
Torn from the vast plains of Archeus,
This Leaving possesses an element of silence
That swallows…smothers.
It is not golden.
It is simply the beginning of an end.
An end to reason, which feels akin to treason.
To my heart and mind.
Slotted, potted and allotted somewhere in time.
I watch life – the deserter,
Relinquishing all duties,
And turning in its badge,
It peels its taut, curled fingers
From my grasp, one by one… and leaves.
But soft, slowly, kindly.
Will it let me hang on to its shirt-tails I wonder?
Either way… I wish it luck.
Esme's Cloud 
This is very moving Sonmi, and so richly, imaginatively expressed. I feel a great distance here as I write this comment from my admittedly shallow current perspective, and sense strongly that you have gone to that point of understanding which yet awaits my arrival. Many congratulations on this exceptional piece of work.
Hariod ❤
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If it moved you, then the words touched your heart, and although I do not wish to sadden anyone, it is good to know that the core of the piece hit the right notes. There is never any plan to do so, to try and wring out any joy or pull heart-strings through methodical device – it appears, I smarten it up, put its hat on straight and then send it out into the world. But I know where this one came from, and you are in the right ballpark with your thoughts.
“Many congratulations on this exceptional piece of work.” – One breath held, followed by a gulp of happiness. Thank you Hariod.
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This isn’t a suicide note by chance? Either way, it’s lovely.
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“Either way, it’s lovely” – Well I’m glad to see I’d be so missed! Laughs a great deal, and then some more. No, no suicide note, I’d be far more dramatic than that, and have everyone weeping in the aisles, throwing flowers and tearing at their hair, then, at the end, I’d have convinced one and all to jump off lover’s leap with me hand in hand, like a big gang of literary lemmings, (yes I know the real facts about lemmings if anyone was going to chip in here).
Your deep concern is noted.
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Oh, but mine is of deep concern, you see. To approach death with such magnificence and valor is not to be diminished with worldly pretense. Not that I wouldn’t miss you Sonmi, I would, the world would. Yours is such an unique presence that it cannot but be sorely missed. But death is the grand and climactic conclusion, the last chapter, the final tribute, the consummation and perhaps the introduction of another adventurous tale to follow, and so far be it from me to inhibit such reunion. However, this is not encouragement.
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I am suitably mollified Peter, thank you – laughs and gives him a hug for his kind and clever words.
“However, this is not encouragement.” – sonmi steps back gingerly from the head of the gargoyle at the top of the Chrysler Building and jumps back onto the Cloud quite relieved
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Brilliant comment Peter; far too amusing merely to ‘like’.
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Hear, hear!
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Wishing luck is a must at times, Sonmi.
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That’s really a very touching a thing to say Professor. And kind to. There is a great deal of luck to be found within kindness, not just towards others, but to ourselves also. Thank you. x
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blushes a bit I can be sweet, see.
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I never doubted it.
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You hooked me at “transcendental taxidermist”…
“An end to reason, which feels akin to treason.
To my heart and mind.” Nailed it.
Gripping poem. This comes from someone not easily gripped by poetry.
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That is a compliment indeed then! Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoyed it. smiles broadly
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What a wonderful soft structure you have created, I decided to read it from the bottom up, and then down, almost a loop of a read. But, I felt completely unnerved, rattled almost, the subject matter. It seems a theme today. Death seems closer than usual today…
A transcendental taxidermist. This alone is smooth as butter, sonmi. Just gorgeous.
Do you pen your words before typing, I just have this image of you peering out a window, inking your words, a slight sigh
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A ‘soft structure’…nice. And ‘smooth as butter’ too, you’ve repaid me in kind in more ways than one Jess. Thank you very much.
“Do you pen your words before typing, I just have this image of you peering out a window, inking your words, a slight sigh” – I have a special place, where, if the planets align just so, and my brainoid receptors are in fine fettle, the words come to me, mostly via a muse in another dimension who is a little scatty, but usually reachable/readable and squirts me with inspiration every now and again. I have been known to pen with a sigh, or slide fingers all over a magical transportable pad, and there is a window right there, yes.
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Your description of a squirting muse is ever so juicy… your brainoid receptors are most definitely in fine fettle haha!
facts and ticks (not the insect type) and sighs, all helping one to fly 🙂
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Attended a memorial service yesterday for a glorious woman of deep faith. In her last week, she told the doctors to stop intervening, went home, was surrounded by loved ones, and, as if she’d let go of a great weight, full of joy. Your poem is a beautiful bookend.
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Oh that’s so lovely to hear, the connection between the words and her passing I mean. Thank you for telling me. Pain is hard, but there’s nothing to fear other than that which we manufacture ourselves so far as death goes, and sometimes we know when it’s time to go. She knew. x
sonmi upon the Cloud
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