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Over the course of history, some of those who have ruled across the world have had some unlikely and indeed unusual epithets. Esme has found a few that tickled her, and she thinks they may raise a smile or two upon the faces of her (highly appreciated curtsies), followers.

Have at these, in no particular order other than whimsy;

IVAR THE BONELESS  – A 9th century Viking leader – some accounts claim his nickname was a reference to impotence, a more likely theory is that he was an incredibly swift fighter and was able to move quickly and effortlessly in battle. (Or so he told the laydeez).

WILFRED THE HAIRY  – A 9th century Catalan nobleman and Count of   Barcelona. According one medieval description of him, Wilfred was “hairy in places not normally so in men.” – (HAHAHAHAHAHA.)

ALFONSO THE SLOBBERER –  King of Galicia from 1188-1230. He apparently earned his nickname because he foamed at the mouth when enraged. (Not the best French kisser esme suspects).

FREDERICK THE BITTEN – Served as Margrave (a medieval title equivalent to marquis) of Meissen in Germany from 1291-1323. He was apparently bitten on the cheek by his mother when he was just a baby. (What did she do, take his head off?!).

ALBERT THE PECULIAR  – Duke of Austria from 1395-1404. He was also called “Albert the Patient,” and “Albert the Wonderful.” (I’m guessing he preferred either of the latter choices but his mates insisted on the former, because he was a bit peculiar).

EYSTEIN THE FART, Eystein Halfdansson, was an 8th century king of Norway. The epithet “Fart” is usually taken to mean that he was a busybody or loudmouth, although no definitive explanation has yet been found. (However everyone within a ten mile radius was known to shout “Stink-um poo-um farty-pants” whenever he passed by, so his love of lentil curry may well have been ‘behind’ it all).

LLYWELYN THE LUXURIOUS –  A 14th century Welsh prince. Quite how he earned his lavish nickname is sadly unknown. (I hear he liked his soap…)

OLAF THE TITBIT  – King of the Isle of Man from 1112-1143. His Norse epithet bitlingr, meaning something like “titbit” or “morsel,” was predictably a reference to his height. (And the fact that he had a face like a gurning nipple methinks.)

GARCÍA THE TREMBLER – García Sánchez II, was king of Pamplona in Spain from 994-1004. According to one account, “though a man of tried courage, he never prepared for battle without visibly trembling from head to foot.” – (Knees in particular).

ANNE, THE QUEEN OF BEES – Anne Louise Bénédicte, was Duchess of Maine in France from 1692-1736. She became known as “Queen of Bees” after founding her own chivalric order, The Order of the Honey Bee, in 1703. (She was buzzin’ man)

BROCHWEL THE FANGED – Brochwel Ysgrithrog, was a 6th century ruler of Powys in central Wales. His epithet ysgrithog means “fanged” or “tusked,” and probably refers either to his large or prominent teeth, or to his aggressive, short-tempered personality. (May well have had a sister who was behind the whole Frederick The Bitten malarkey).

CHILDERIC THE IDIOT – King of the Franks from 743-751. No one is quite sure what he did to earn the epithet “the Idiot,” but seeing as he ended his reign by being deposed and consigned to a monastery, it may be nothing more than an attempt by his successors to tarnish his name. (Hahahahaha. Charming. Poor sod).

LOUIS THE UNAVOIDABLE – The nickname of Louis XVIII of France, who spent much of his reign in the late 1700s and early 1800s either in prison or in exile during the French Revolution. When Napoleon was finally defeated in 1815, Louis was the “unavoidable” choice to return and reclaim the throne. (A nightmare to get away from at parties).



some of this was pilfered from mental floss officer