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Esme blows a fanfare on her trombone – Last week Esme’s Cloud gained the 500th follower. Five hundred no less! Certainly more mind you, as there are 504 as of today.

Sticky buns for everyone! Apart from those who can’t be arsed reading or are dead. I have many genuine followers, in as much as they are not following The Cloud because The Cloud follows them, as the Cloud does not follow them at all (other than at weekends or when you might be able to get it in free at a very cheesy nightclub). One should only follow blogs one loves reading or get inspiration/enjoyment/free pickles from, otherwise, it’s all just stats for stats sake (rather than art). I know WordPress is still randomly unfollowing the blogs of people I wish to remain following; being slow of marbles and high in followers (ish) I don’t tend to notice, in some cases for over a year (looks shady), but if nothing comes up in my feed or notifications I have no idea it exists. It’s cheering to have found that many of the bloggers to whom this has happened did not unfollow me in return, and a couple actually contacted me to say ‘Oi! For the love of all the Gods and medium-sized dogs . . . WHY?!!**’ Howling in misery and renting their hair (for twenty quid a day). They get a jar of lemon curd and a hand-knitted bobble-hat as recompense. I truly think it’s appalling that WP does this, others have said it drives them nuts too. It’s all very well if you only follow five folks, but when you follow . . . (has no idea how many she follows, not a clue as to how to find out) . . . erm eight thousand and twenty-nine blogs you don’t catch on.

Thank you one and all! sets off a bucket of fireworks and hands out cake left, right, centre, up, down and sideways

Some facts regarding the number 500:

500 seconds is equal to 8 minutes, 20 seconds.

In numerologya person expressing 500 energy would most likely step through a portal to a different dimension, on a whim, if such a portal suddenly appeared. The 500 energy person is curious, witty, and above all has no qualms about expressing their sense of freedom. They will do what they do when they feel a desire to do it or become curious about it. People generally smile a lot when they’re around the numerology energy of 500. –  (Taken from an actual numerology article – see linkage) Seems to fit disturbingly well most of that  – looks suspicious but doesn’t know who or what of

A cube with a volume of 500 cubic inches would be around 0.7 feet tall.

500 in Roman Numerals is D.

500 is the HTTP status code for Internal Server Error.

A ‘Monkey’ is £500 in UK cash. A ‘Flying Monkey’ is the equivalent of a bag of eighteen buttons on the Cloud and also slang for an actual Flying Monkey.

500 is how far the Proclaimers would walk just to be the man who walked 500 miles to fall down at your door. (Impressive devotion but also rather mental. I’d want them to produce a present before giving them a fireman’s lift into the house at least.)



**Not their exact words – wee paraphrase but close-ish