Tags
Actionable, Agree to all demands please, Heads will (toilet) roll, How very dare they, Slander in the first degree.
This is an OUTRAGE.
(*some followers and followeeees may have noticed a few flurries of abnormal activity upon their blogs in connection to somni of late, and there may well be more to come this very day. All shall become clear in time. Don’t Panic.)
Esme's Cloud 
But it’s true, yes, a cloud is clean. And I just want my bottom to feel as clean as a cloud. No offense meant. But why the puppy, I can only imagine.
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As clean as a bum hole though. You must admit it is not the most flattering of compliments! * sonmi takes a photograph of Peter’s bare bum which he is showing her proudly and files it away in case blackmail becomes necessary*
Puppies. I know. I have yet to see anyone wipe their arse with a puppy, but if I should do, I think I’ll be able to say that I’ve finally seen everything.
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… and puppies don’t use toilet paper ~ they tend to lick their nether regions 😉
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I’ll not suggest that to Peter, he’ll unfollow me!
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Surely all the more reason to proclaim the benefits of bog rolls to them Emy?
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Here I go again. I once shared a house with a chap whose claim to fame in life, and which he was always keen to remind people of, was that he came up with the original puppy idea for the bog roll people. A life well lived.
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What a stunning claim to fame he (reckons) he has. He should have that info tattooed across his forehead. People would be so impressed. laughs.
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He was awarded the CBE (Clean Bum Emissary).
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HAHAHAHAHA
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By the way, did you realise that an anagram of ‘I feel as clean as a cloud’ is ‘accessed of an alleluia.’?
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All Hail the Cloud!!
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It’s true, there has been a noticeable decline in the number of times I mention the cleanliness of my ass to others as I have gotten older. That all changes today! Thanks, Andrex, and thank you, Cloud, I owe you one.
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The Cloud is pleased to hear this and suggests you use a sponge on a stick to be absolutely sure of squeaky cleanliness.
-s.u.t.C
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Excellent suggestion. Speaking openly of this is quite exhilarating! It feels like we’re part of something real
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Real, yes real freaking weird. However, I feel closer to you for your sharing said information about your opening.
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How about the Charmin toilet paper bear sitting on a cloud?
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Charming indeed. I don’t know if we’d get away with it ‘bearing’ in mind the age old questions…..”Is the Pope Catholic? – Does a bear shit in the woods?” Personally I prefer that gem reversed as the idea of the Pope shitting in the woods appeals to my exceptionally childish sense of humor.
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