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I came across the following poem the other day and was struck by how tight the composition is. Love as a vexatious creature, which sometimes, it most definitely is.
Excellent Cloud fodder, originally posted here – Praying For Eyebrows, by Nananoyz.
Enjoy – smiles
I Have Love
I have love, ill-defined and tenuous,
Hollowed out and scurrilous.
Jealous to a fault,
Impervious.
Brittle love, strained and anxious,
Stretched too thin, dangerous.
Pushed past the limit,
Hazardous.
Save me from love, rude and ridiculous,
Martyred and meticulous.
Grasping for straws,
Ludicrous.
Oh yes, this is very good indeed!
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I’m glad you agree Lucy. Excellent taste, as ever.
Esme smiling and nodding all sage and onionly upon the Cloud
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Really good piece that. Seems to suggest the kind of desperation that visits us when the first intimations of it all falling apart arise. Enjoyed the K.D. Lang song, which along with the poem itself reminded me of Amy Mann’s Save Me:
You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet
But can you – save me
Come on and – save me
If you could – save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
That was used in Magnolia in respect to the damaged and desperate girl who’s befriended by the cop. And the words from the second stanza of the piece you post here remind me of her: “Brittle love, strained and anxious, Stretched too thin, dangerous. Pushed past the limit, Hazardous.”
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Magnolia was a great film and one I thank your recommendation for H, and Amy’s song an ideal match for it too, I see the connection clearly. I like this part of Amy’s song a great deal;
You struck me dumb, Like radium
Like Peter Pan, or Superman,
You have come… to save me.
The three dots of doom are so perfectly placed there . . . hahahaha.
K.D is pleading to be saved and not saved at all in the same breath, it’s one of my favourite songs of all time, and I do not say that lightly.
“Seems to suggest the kind of desperation that visits us when the first intimations of it all falling apart arise” – That fits, yes, though it seemed to me to be in the spirit of a thousand sonnets and wild tales of fraught affairs of the heart across the ages — love running anything but smoothly, bruising as often as blessing, but on it goes, stronger than ever. Sometimes things go to far mind, and this line – ‘Stretched too thin, dangerous.‘ — is as strong as the one I used as the title.
I’m glad you enjoyed it Hariod!
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Yes indeed, that’s great use of an ellipsis, making you linger on the ‘come’ so it chimes with ‘dumb’ and radium’. Great lyrics, and I’ve always considered, “You look like a perfect fit, for a girl in need of a tourniquet” to be a quite brilliant opening line for a song. K.D.’s “Spoil me with you, and soil me with the world of you” is great, too.
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Aye, lyrics are poetry when the cap fits, and fine poetry at that. I’m glad you liked K.D. she’s got some voice going on there – smiles
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An ellipsis in time, saves lines!
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Oooo. Very nice that. I like it I do. – nods at him
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Love that Mann song, btw. She’s brilliant in her own way. ❤
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Bela from Hawai’i — she got taste and a mean eye for them bespoke Aloha shirts. H ❤
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😉
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I enjoyed reading it ☺️
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Great stuff Poetpas, thank you very much for saying so.
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You’re welcome 👍
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As was probably painfully apparent to you ages ago I don’t know a damn thing about poetry, and, as such, you could have (without much effort) concluded that my familiarity with love was most likely nonexistent . However, although I had a sneaking suspicion you were on to me, I was still determined to make an attempt here in this very comments section to appear as if I knew what the hell I was talking about. Then, after spending more than enough time crafting a believable story (which took several rewrites) I myself was not even feeling sufficiently fooled and so gave up.
The President and Founder
P.S. So confused was I about love and poetry that mistakenly I believed these to be the actual lyrics of a very famous song:
“Love, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Love, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, why’all
Love, huh, good god
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
Oh, Love, I despise
‘Cause it means destruction of innocent lives’
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Say it again!
No, you needn’t repeat it actually, I have it all in writing and so it will stand up in court should you ever need a witness in the case of poetry and love verses knowing nothing, because I couldn’t be more aware that ‘there is no knowing’! –Knows he’s a big ole romantic really, just most likely the kind that never shows it to be so by any word or deed – Hahahahahaha
I have been onto you for years, but your secrets are all safe with Esme as she locks them up in an aether safe and then swallows the keys – sways about making a jangling sound to prove her point Thank you for visiting Pressie, and for all the words you left behind too.
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Wondrous.
Thanks for sharing this marvelous poem, Esme. This poem beats like a heart, it really does. Hearts beat when they are sad too — I heart it, I do.So I double thank YOU 🙂
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They do Bill, sometimes so loudly they can be deafening- smiles – Lovely comment, I’ll take your double and raise you double the thanks again in return.
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All these comments made me feel warm and fuzzy inside! Thank you Esme upon the Cloud for sharing my little poem!
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And so you should do! I’d have left it as the main post longer, but then my own poem appeared and was tugging at my sleeve to get out whilst threatening me with a spatula.
Well deserved Nanoyz.
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❤️
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Hi nananoyz, Very nice to read your wonderful poem on an esme-cloud display. Here is something I found while searching ‘love hurts’:
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Thank you for sharing!
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