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I believe alien life is quite common in the universe - although intelligent life is less so. Some say it has yet to appear on planet Earth. - Stephen Hawking, I'm the urban spaceman baby; here comes the twist-- I don't exist, Looks like the alien Crowd got groove She cuts a number out my arm But I can never get through To play this game She's trying to lose The stuff from Mars Makes it harder to choose
Yesterday, the anniversary of sonmi’s entrance through the side door, (quietly, no fuss), into the sphere that is blogger-filled, granted the most visitors and visits to the Cloud ever recorded in the history of all history (a year basically), which is rather nice when you think about it. 240 views and 30 different visitors no less! All those who won awards have visited the Cloud since the ceremony was posted and perused then digested the occasion, and their reactions have all been overwhelmingly positive and highly touching.
However, it would be fair to say that those winners who have either said nowt, or not pressed the ‘like’ button…..were not thrilled with the affair. The other side of that somewhat dark, dismal ,and indeed murky coin is the fact that at least no-one has officially complained, (so Ophelia Fanny informs me), or asked for their names, links or images to be removed. Small mercies. Hey ho. (No comments necessary re this, I respect folks right to not like that which I post, just so long as they never vocalise their annoyance – laughs).
Another first popped up yesterday too – my first ever ping-pong! Pink-bag? Ping-back! This came courtesy of jess and here’s where it took me;
https://jessiemartinovic.wordpress.com/2015/01/18/new-post/
Fame at last! (I would hate to be famous, however small-scale adoration is right up my alley sir.) Thank you Jess – smiles and bows low.
Also one of my jolly crew of followers asked a boon. Or perhaps a dare. No, twas a challenge, see;
Emy – “Sonmi, I want to challenge YOU (crowd gasps). That’s right, challenge you with a wet cabbage leaf.
I challenge you to disclose 7, as in the 7 deadly sins, personal facts about yourself.
I particularly want to know where you got your wicked sense of humour from.”
Seven facts. Actual facts. Not one to shirk such matters (unless I can wriggle out of it like a snake covered in engine oil on a ladder), I have accepted the quest, challenge I mean. So…..seven it is – takes the wet cabbage leaf and a deep breath;
1) When sonmi was four years old she won the prettiest hair competition at Butlins Holiday Camp in Ayrshire, and the prize was an article that changed the path of her life forever. It was a Noddy painting set!
(This is a plaster and paint Noddy set, but tis the closest I could find and you get the gist I’m sure)
2) Last year, the farthest sonmi cycled in one day was 26 miles. – looks very chuffed with herself for a moment.
3) sonmi’s sense of humour came from the many painful years spent as an alien forced to mix with human children. She survived by making them laugh, and then making dust appear where she had been stood. (It is also a genetic condition).
4) sonmi once climbed to the highest point one is allowed to up the Eiffel Tower. Just as she stepped off the small ladder…a thick blanket of fog came down and there was naught to see but a solid grey wall.
5) A medium-sized, 15 year old contemplative canine resides with sonmi upon the Cloud and she is the best dog in the known and unknown universe – fact.
6) Only two more to go. – pulls at her collar sweating a little….sonmi owns a working ye olde gramophone with ancient records to play upon it.
7) sonmi has long, wavy, bright red hair, and she is an alien.
So, there you have it. Treat it well. With knowledge comes responsibility. These secrets are ancient and must be kept from those who would use them against me and seek to imprison me once again within the glass prism known as……’The Phantom Zone’!….Hang on, no that’s General Zod the baddy out of Superman. But still……keep shtum. – looks suspiciously from side to side a few times quickly
Esme's Cloud 
actual bit of wee came out hah x lovely
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Better that than a bit of poo. nods sagely
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not wrong, yeah, not wrong
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Oh, now it’s all starting to make perfect sense… Ha ha (that’s laughing by the way, when I write, ‘HA, ha’, always, you may have noticed, with a lower case ‘h’ on the second ‘ha’, this indicates the initial enjoyment of my joke followed by the devastating realization that it wasn’t that funny) Anyway, those were some interesting facts, but, as was no doubt intended, they do nothing but deepen the mystery.
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You are a canny one Presidente, seeing through my cunning ruse. I’m glad you told me what you were doing for I believe this is the first time I have ever ‘heard’ you laugh out loud, and (so long as hysteria does not set in) it pleases me to have you guffaw upon the Cloud.
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Ah! ‘Presidente’! “In these days of evil presidentes Working for the clampdown” as our dear old friend, Joe did sing…
And, (a much prized moment for me to perform my expert admitting) I had no idea of who this Ken Dodd fellow was, but unfortunately, in my hurry to find out, I typed in his name wrong and ended up reading about Kenneth Dodge which, thankfully, was not who you meant, and who, if he was to wield a tickling stick, I would flee from in, as they used to say, “all haste”.
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How fortunate you must feel to be constantly educated in the most important of matters and personages of power by sonmi! laughs Having said that you have also shed light on the most fascinating of subjects in the past President and Founderz, so in that respect we are ‘even stevens’*, nods (no Dodds) and smiles.
Definition – Even stevens/Even stephens – equal measures, fair shares, especially financial or value – earliest origins and associations are probably found in Jonathan Swift’s ‘Journal To Stella’ written 20 Jan 1748: “Now we are even quoth Stephen, when he gave his wife six blows for one“. A separate and possibly main contributory root is the fact that ‘Steven’ or ‘Stephen’ was English slang for money from early 1800’s, probably from Dutch stiver/stuiver/stuyver, meaning something of little value, from the name for a low value coin which at one time was the smallest monetary unit in the Cape (presumably South Africa) under the Dutch East India Company, equal to about an old English penny. An expression seems to have appeared in the 1800’s ‘Steven’s at home‘ meaning one has money. The alliterative (rhyming) sound of the expression would have made it a natural reference or paired words expression and ensured common usage. People like saying things that trip comfortably off the tongue. (ref Cassell)
sonmi dodging Dodd upon the Cloud
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Now careful Sonmi, careful. You’ve just nominated nine of us whom you thought “most likely to be a serial killer on the sly”. Perhaps you would still take a chance and invite each of us round for afternoon tea, and survive the event unscathed too. But wait, should there have been a tenth I wonder? Who is it who is so keen to find out more about you? Who, just for example,
, is this Emy Will, a.k.a. Emy Willhelm, the er, ‘animal activist’? I don’t mean to arouse fears unnecessarily, but consider this: If you mix up the letters from the words ‘Emy Will challenges Sonmicloud’, what do you get? This! ‘well hoodlums menace slicingly’. See what I mean? Or are you not yet just a tad suspicious? Well then, just try doing the same with ‘Emy Willhelm anti-fur campaigner’. This time we get ‘charmingly weariful impalement.’ Now of course, one wants ‘the aftermath’ to be a happy occurrence, so all of this is merely food for thought Sonmi – vegan, of course.
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By all the Gods…….!! Will the next major headline read “ALIEN MURDER CASE SOLVED – IT WAS THE ANIMAL ACTIVIST IN THE DRAWING ROOM WITH A STUFFED TOY!” ….and she never saw it coming. The good news is that I am also a ninja and a fully paid member of the assassins guild of Ankh Morpork. Or rather that should be ‘Ankh Mortofu’. And of late I was hired by The President and Founder for my Colombo-like detective skills. feels around in her crumpled mac for a box of matches to light her two inch cigar stub. So fear not Heriod. sonmi is safe as ‘owses’.
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Connecting to: “3) sonmi’s sense of humour came from the many painful years spent as an alien forced to mix with human children.” As a child, I always felt this very same way. These days, I tell humans that I’m 1/4 human, 1/4 alien, 1/4 angel and 1/4 cabbage (adopted children ~ referred to as “cabbage patch kids”). Thanks for sharing a fun bit about yourself sonmi. ~ Gerean
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I’m loving the quarter angel quarter cabbage part laughs. Yes, I get that entirely. And you’re welcome. I’ll share more in another years time eh? winks.
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Gerean is one of those rare ones Sonmi, a Hulienangbage.
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What a word that is! Hulienanbage! I like it. steals it and puts it in the Cloud’s vaults for later
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Do that Sonmi, please do. Though be sure not to misspell it again eh? After all, it’s a Hariginal.
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Arll bi shore nut toe Heriode winks
– snomi ponu het Clod
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Just sayin’, cuz those Hulienangbageans start sproutin’ sprouts to fire at those who get their names wrong. Ever had a sprout sprung sprightly upon you via a Hulienangbagean mortar? This is what they do!
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Beware the wrath of a “sprout-sprouting, sprout-firing” Hulienangbagean, especially those born under the sign of Scorpio. Aka: Scorphulienangbageon. 😉
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Sounds like a lot of hot wind (sprouty wind!)
Beware the Hulienangbagean Scorphulienangbageon indeed!
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Sonmi! Help! There’s a Scorphulienangbagean threatening me, and I think they’re psychobrassicapathic!
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Much like Mr Joyce the best I can do is look to the heavens from the Cloud and call down a smattering of Bababadalgharaghtakamminapronnkonnbronntonnepronnt-
uonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordeenenthurnuk
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That’s a passage from “A portrait of the Hulienangbage as a young cabbage” isn’t it?
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Yes, the sequel to which was “I was a teenage cabbage farter” I believe.
-s.u.t.C
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Hariod Brawn ~ Finally! A thirteen-dollar word I can adopt as a personal label. Thanks! Very creative. ~ Gerean
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I’m of the opinion that life is quite common through out our Universe and heavily pervasive. “Alien” life seems to be centrally located on this here chunk of rock and confined mostly to the human species. Hmmm, that could explain why we’re mostly isolated and kept in quarantine.
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I like the way you think donzo, most alien life would be hard pressed to invite humans round for for tea for sure .Welcome to the Cloud. smiles
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Ha! Just when you and Hariod (is that her real name?) thought I was plotting in the shadows, I pop up like Granny Weatherwax. In fact Emy is short for Esmerelda.
In fact I was involved with other challenges of the fur furkini kind. Of course I would only ever wear a fake furkini and don’t shudder at this image – I am a feminist after all.
Well Sonmi, I will ignore your blatant bragging at being fit and point out that the topic of hair stood out. I will be consulting my friend Sigmund Freud on this unconscious slip.
Emy, hugging her not-the-bunny soft toy.
LOL i.e. Haha.
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Ha! Firkinis, we should all be sporting one! hands them out to Heriod, masodo, Dale, The Presedent and Founder, and Peter for starters
I am the Forest Gump of cycling. laughs
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Cycle, Sonmi, Cycle. In your fake fur furkini.
Mmmm, an interesting silence on the hair slip and I don’t mean of the petticoat kind.
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I foresee a fair amount of chaffing when cycling, and perhaps some newspaper exposure hopefully the only kind of exposure.
On the hairy mary issue I quote –
“Redheaded women buck like goats.”
― James Joyce
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Sonmi, are you sure you are not a man pretending to be a woman? Of course as a feminist I would approve.
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By all the Gods. No shemale here, though I’ve wondered if it would be easier to be a male in this age, not suggesting they’re all simpletons or anything laughs however despite the physical drawbacks (the whole womb pain malarkey and more), the perks more than make up for that.
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