Esme is otherwise engaged across the universe at present, however, not wishing to leave her followers bowls completely dry, she has constructed the following piece, which in its entirety covers both sides of thirty eight A4 sheets of lined, Oxford Campus paper. She has however elected to convey the whole of the text in the medium of interpretive dance. Ladies, gentlemen, Baird’s Tapirs and you in the corner looking shady…I give you…‘The Tale and Origins of The Anti-procrastination Device’!

*The curtains open and Esmeralda runs out of the wings to centre stage,she is clad entirely in what appears to be tin foil barring a pair of giant fluffy leg warmers, she performs a revoltade, cartwheels, slips into a swift soubresaut, and then begins a line dance that beggars belief…

…The crowd gasp…roar…cry…simper…cackle…growl…shiver…fart…guffaw and there is even a spot of tiffin at half time (half time being four hours in).* 

Several hours later and many in the crowd have clearly been moved, out of the exits at some point at least.

Esme hopes you all enjoyed her heartfelt performance. The civil war she is caught up in (in her role as Queen of the Unknown Universe and peace-maker of course), makes answering comments tricky at present. Please feel free to leave one however. Just don’t complain or start throwing old tomatoes if you don’t get a swift answer.  – The Cloud

The Anti-procrastination Device* – A writer’s charm encased in glass. Tis small, but potent. There’s power harnessed within which, once placed upon a desk, within sight, will hold fast those thoughts which oft flee from your grasp, and banish the dreaded fingers of procrastination. (Troposphere magic is copyrighted so sod off ye who be thieves).

*A Clockwork Jewel creation wrought from Esme’s own flickering hands.